need to get at it

Between ACPA and Drew being in town the running has fallen away a lot more than I wanted it to. This week has also been moving at about 500 miles a minute. At least it seems that way. It's just been a lot.

I did the bump up to a 5 minute run for the first time earlier this week. It was surprisingly easy for the first five minutes. I am going a lot slower than I initially was, but it's progress still. I am hoping that once I've got the distance down I can increase my speed slowly but surely as it gets easier. That's the natural progression, right?

I also am thinking about switching to running on the track every now and then. Out on the course I won't have the clock in front of me or the track of the treadmill propelling my feet behind me. I should prepare for that. The Huff, the on campus gym, has an indoor track. Maybe it's time to start transitioning to that? Oh magical interwebs, do you have an answer for me?

And I need a nap. Anyone want to work another couple of hours for me?

Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? 

Normally, I'm off at 12:30 (so, right now), but one of my coworkers had a baby last night. While that's excellent, I've picked up extra hours everyday to make up for her absence. This is good because I'll get more money, but more tiring for me too. Oh, tradeoffs.

Also, anyone want to hang out this weekend? I have no plans and would like some. Any takers?

Geeking Out

If you haven't guessed it already, I'm currently in grad school. I'm getting a M.Ed. in Adult and Higher Education - I want to work at a university with students. So far I LOVE this program. We've got some real rock star professors who are really all that and a bag of chips. I also have really enjoyed my classes and the people in them for the most part. It's really exciting.

This semester I'm doing a practicum. I'm working in Residence Life on some assessment stuff. My practicum supervisor is someone I have been in class with before. I'll call her D. D is a doctoral student in program I'm in. I think she is kind of awesome. I want to be best friends with her and follow her around all the time. This is not meant to be creepy. I just think she's really cool. I like the way she thinks about things. She's funny, down to earth, and really easy to talk to. When I imagine my best version of myself there are parts of that picture that I've pictured because D has already begun to influence things I think about in a really good way. It makes me really happy that I have an excuse to hang around her when I'm working for her on practicum stuff.

Dr. Q. is one of the rock star professors in our program. She's dynamic, engaging, encouraging, and a top notch scholar. She really is headed towards being a super star in the field. I am working with Dr. Q. to present some of her research at a professional conference in Vegas in a few weeks. I don't know why Dr. Q. thought I would be a good person to offer the honor of presenting with her at a massive conference like ACPA to, but she did. I leapt at the chance to work with her. It's a big deal. I also would love to just absorb the awesome Dr. Q. has got going on, much like I would with D.

I am learning so much from both of them. Really and truly.

Dr. Q. is also the chair for D.'s dissertation committee. They work together fairly regularly. D has admitted to me that she is also kind of in awe of the awesome that is Dr. Q. This only further validates how amazing I think both of them are.

Today, D. and I were chatting after going over some stuff for my practicum assignments and we started talking about ACPA and Dr. Q. I confessed that I am so nervous around Dr. Q. because I want to make sure I do so much better than the minimum when presenting with Dr. Q at the conference. I don't want to do anything that could be even the tiniest blemish on her legit-ness (yes, that's totally a word). It's a big deal and I don't want to be disappointing, ya know? Then, D. told me that she and Dr. Q. have talked about me and how they're both impressed with the fact that I'm doing the work of a full time job on a 20 hour per week time frame with GA pay scale (insert dropped jaw and rapid hand movements while trying to refrain from jumping up and down). D. said, "Dr. Q. really likes you."

1. They talked about me! Two of my semi-idols from this program talked about me. 

2. I've impressed two people who I seriously look up to and want to impress so badly it kind of hurts. 

Hence, I am totally geeking out. Ah! 

Do y'all do this, too? 

I'm the busiest I've ever been...

and that is really saying something.

Currently my life is crazy. Really crazy. It borders on spinning out of control almost all of the time, or at least it feels that way. I'm well versed in juggling commitments - school, work, my personal life. It's something I have spent a long time doing, and trying to find a way to do very well. I like to think I've gotten good at it. I also must admit that I enjoy juggling things. It keeps me busy and honest with myself about organizing my time.

I am driven to not only meet the minimum requirements, but to get the gold star. I'm a bit of a gold star kid. I find stickers extremely motivating. Remind me to tell the story of the sticker club one day :). Anyway, I want to do well at all of the things I possibly can.

This leads me to my point of being extremely busy these days. School has put a lot on my plate this semester. I've got busy classes with more work to do in them than what I've ever had before. Some of it is really great, other parts of it feel a little like busy work. Now, I will say that in the particular class that has a mass quantity of busy work, it is intentional. It's designed so that we have a ton of notes left over for use in studying for the comprehensive exam we have to take at the end of the degree. That doesn't make it any more enjoyable in trenches of said busy work....

Work is utterly exhausting. I am a grad assistant with the Center for Social Justice. I love it. It's a lot of event planning, organizing the different programs we run, working with students, and anything else I'm asked to take care of. All that said, we have several events coming up that are beginning to overwhelm me a tad. We're hosting a conference next week that I'm responsible for logistical execution for, a film screening the following week, The Vagina Monologues the week after (I'm also acting in the production which is great fun, but another level of things to juggle), I'll be co-moderating another event the week after that. Like I said, a lot.

And my personal life... Drew and I chat nightly. He wakes up at 4:30 in the morning in England (10:30pm in good ole Oklahoma) to talk me to sleep every night. This is one of the best parts of my day. He makes me really happy. He also understands me and some of my hangups better than I could have ever hoped for from a partner. We email on and off throughout the day, but getting to see his face and talk with him is the closest we get to crawling in bed together and cuddling. He's coming over for spring break :). I can't wait.

I don't feel like I have much time for a lot of socializing these days. It's kind of tough. I'm a very social person, but between school and work taking up SO much time and SO much energy, things feel rather out of balance in my personal life. Yes, I'm working out four times a week and I'm sure that counts as personal time, but I hate it. It's not actually something I enjoy or really want to do. I need to do it, so I do. I am motivated by the Color me Rad 5K, but as far as seeing it as pleasurable... Heck no.

So, I am going to keep breathing, keep working at this pace, and look forward to a break. It's coming. I can see it on the horizon. I just need to keep some faith and keep reminding myself that it will be ok. It always it.

WhenindoubtDDD, right? Right.