numero dos

Welcome to post number two about the crazy that I can lovingly call the past few weeks. 

I do not doubt you wait on baited breath to read about how Color Me Rad 2013 went. I won't drag out the suspense any longer, this is the post you anticipated. 

I decided to do a 5k a few months back. Now, I do not like running. In fact, I detest it. This is why deciding to run a 5k was somewhat out of character. Ok, a lot out of character. This is how my day started: 

Yes, I'm super fly. All clean and shiney, I was ready to go. I spent the last several months training for Color Me Rad. My initial reaction to training was somewhat skin to my thoughts on slathering myself with sugar water and hanging out in the Houston bayous without mosquito spray. That said, it got a little better. 

Then I fell off the bandwagon a bit when the semester went crazy on me. Combined with the course being mainly gravel and potholed road, and the fact I had a wedding to attend later that evening, I did not attempt to run the whole thing. I wasn't ready. I did the 5k anyway and had a lot of fun. 

This picture is right before the race started after the preface zumba class.

This photo is just after I crossed the finished line. I ran about 20 minutes of the 5k in total over several different parts. 

I could be disappointed in myself for not running the whole thing, and if running was my gig, I might be. But running hurts and it takes so much effort for me. I am just proud of myself for getting out there by myself. I was my own motivation. 

It was worth it and I'm going to keep working at it. I'm worth the effort. 

I wanted to be lazy today.

I really, REALLY wanted to be lazy today. I won't be.

This is the only reason I will hit my run this evening. 

need to get at it

Between ACPA and Drew being in town the running has fallen away a lot more than I wanted it to. This week has also been moving at about 500 miles a minute. At least it seems that way. It's just been a lot.

I did the bump up to a 5 minute run for the first time earlier this week. It was surprisingly easy for the first five minutes. I am going a lot slower than I initially was, but it's progress still. I am hoping that once I've got the distance down I can increase my speed slowly but surely as it gets easier. That's the natural progression, right?

I also am thinking about switching to running on the track every now and then. Out on the course I won't have the clock in front of me or the track of the treadmill propelling my feet behind me. I should prepare for that. The Huff, the on campus gym, has an indoor track. Maybe it's time to start transitioning to that? Oh magical interwebs, do you have an answer for me?

And I need a nap. Anyone want to work another couple of hours for me?

Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? 

Normally, I'm off at 12:30 (so, right now), but one of my coworkers had a baby last night. While that's excellent, I've picked up extra hours everyday to make up for her absence. This is good because I'll get more money, but more tiring for me too. Oh, tradeoffs.

Also, anyone want to hang out this weekend? I have no plans and would like some. Any takers?

a not so small life problem

Ever have one of those days where the things that happen are clearly hilarious as long as it's not happening to you? Yeah, me too. 

So, I have, um, a rather large chest. I've been busty since I was 15 or so. They magically appeared. This was something of a surprise to me. My mom is not chesty in the slightest. Far from it. She's actually very petite on her upper body in general. She is your classic pear shape. I understand that your chest size is supposedly tied to your dad's mom's chest. I have not stared down either of my grandmothers' chests and have no intention of changing that any time soon. I just know that I have more than enough love to go around in that department. 

Considering that I'm still significantly over weight, this isn't a surprising fact. I look pretty proportionate in regular clothes. If I wear anything remotely low cut, I look RIDICULOUS. I'm talking boobs for days, people. I wore square necked shirt on my 24th birthday to go out with friends to celebrate. My mom told me I looked that a tramp right before I left the house in front of a few of my friends. It was encouraging, as I'm sure you can imagine. It's also the first time my parents have ever referred to me as anything remotely like that considering I dress pretty modestly in general. This is also funny because my mom was a total sorostitute and my dad a fratdaddy. My sister isn't overly modest, and they certainly have NO issues with that. I just don't often show them off. It can be a lot. 

I have to be careful when taking pictures because otherwise all you see is my massive chest. 

These are two examples of what I'm talking about...

This has been part of my life for ten years, so it's nothing new or surprising. Things hit an all-time level of WTF in the past few weeks though while performing a certain activity - you guessed it, running. Now, good bras are an absolute where I am concerned. There is no avoiding the necessity and sports bras are no exception. I'm ok with that. I also anticipate some movement when working out. Unless I'm holding on to them, I can't help it.   I have consistently had no issues on the elliptical with these sports bras. So, I wasn't concerned when I bumped up to running on the treadmill. Epic Fail.

Apparently, my older sports bras were just worn out because I came ALL THE WAY out of the top of a couple of them. As in, out of the neckline of my sports bra, moving up and down with a higher vertical jump than I have in real life, almost hit me on the chin while I was running at the gym, all the way out of my sports bra. This has happened three times with three different bras of varying ages. 

You may be wondering how it's humanly possible not to notice your boobs coming out the top of your bra... I didn't feel the bra sliding down or anything. I don't know why, but I just didn't.  I did, however, noticed more movement that norman and looked down. That's when I almost was hit in the face. I realized what happened at that point, but I was mid run, so I didn't think I could do anything about it without slowing to a walk. I tucked my arms against my chest, finished out my last 30 seconds, slowed to my walk and then tried to inconspicuously pull my bra back in place (the gym was packed and I felt sooooo awkward). 

I then texted my mom and sister, laughed at myself and my awkward boobs, and then finished my workout with at least one arm trying to keep them somewhat still. Hah. What can I say, such is life. I suppose that I should just keep a smile on my face and be excited about the brand new sports bras I got to go buy :). 

Can anyone else relate? Anyone else have an equally awkward moment? 

the bump up

The past two weeks have been rough on the 5k training. Part of this is because of how beyond busy I've been in the past two weeks. I have had so little time to think straight, much less hit the gym. Every spare moment of my time has been spent working on some project, reading for some class, taking care of another thing on the list. Running had to take a bit of a back burner.

Two weeks ago I bumped up to the 3 minutes on 4 minutes off. The first two workouts were great. I hit the full three minutes, no big deal. The third workout was awful. I struggled to get through it. I decided that I should do 3 x 4 again last week since I had such a rough time at the end of the week. Last week I was only able to get in two workouts because of the crazy schedule. It still wasn't easy. That's for dang sure.

This week was the bump up to 4x3. I definitely considered staying on 3x4, but that seemed weak. I don't want to whimp out on myself. That is really important to me, actually. I don't need another week of 3x4, I need to get my head on straight and my butt in gear.

The bump up made me nervous for a couple of reasons. The first is that this week follows two weeks of mediocre success. I have struggled at three minutes. That reasons that four minutes won't be any better, and quite a bit more of a struggle. The second reason is that this is the first week that the time running outnumbers the time walking.

It was tough. I didn't end up wholly successful. I also had to run significantly slower than I started out, but I can do four minutes. I didn't know if I could. For the real world, that may not be overly concerning, but it scared the tar out of me. I have a TON of room for improvement, I couldn't do four minutes on, three off, but I can do four minutes and I know if I get my head right, I can do this. So, I need to slow it down, get my head on straight, have a little faith, and have a lot of dedication, determination, and desire.

today's personal to-do list:

I'm a big fan of to-do lists. I love being able to check something off the list. It gives me a sense of accomplishment, and allows me to make sure I leave nothing behind. I can keep track of myself and my progress this way.

This is today's list:

Tuesday, February 19th:

School:

1. Review practicum website materials 
2. Read and do reading response for Practicum
3. Read, do reading response, and do unit summary 3 for Adult Learner

Life:

1. Memorize Monologue
2. Work on Prezi for ACPA
3. Memorize Monologue
4. Meeting at Blu with Erin about ACPA
5. Memorize Monologue
6. Run

Affirmation:

1. Stop "whimping"out when running (yes, my notebook that I write all of this in really says whimping).
2. You are worth it. 
3. You can do it. 

Now, this should not be confused with my calendars (yes, that is intentionally plural) that has about 150 different other things that I need to remember or do for work, i.e., events, workshops, film screenings. This is my personal life to-do list for the day. 

All this in the name of organization, sanity, and motivation. I like to believe it's working... At least I keep telling myself that it is. 

Youch!

I'm at the gym cooling down on the recumbent bike as I type this post, and whoa. This last go at 3x4 (third of the week) run was capital ARE OH YOU GEE AYCH (rough). Holy cow.

I won't lie and say the first two were a breeze. They totally weren't. Not at all actually. This one was on a whole new level of hard. I was not expecting that. Set one was tougher than normal, but I managed. Set two I couldn't go to the full three minutes, and I was already going 0.2 slower than I normally work out. The third set I intentionally started slower to making it all the way through. I made it, but dang. I decided that because I didn't hit the full amount on set two I needed to add in a fourth set... Didn't hit three minutes on that one either.

Yikes.

Welp, guess this girl is planning to do a second week on the 3x4 rather than attempting to bump up. Good thing I've got a little time to do just that.

Dedication. Determination. Desire.

Yes, that. It's what I'll keep telling myself.

Today, I'm celebrating.

I recognize that many people will not see this as a massive accomplishment. I recognize that my ability to do this isn't really that impressive. That said, I ask you to celebrate with me on this one.

I survived the jump from 2 minute runs to 3 minutes!

If you're remotely in shape, have never weighed over 300 pounds, or are one of those totally irrational people that actually enjoys running, this is clearly not a big deal. I am not one of those people though. I'm working on getting in shape, I did weigh over 300 pounds, and I think running is a special form of torture, but I'm doing it.

My fancy-smancy running shoes that I really adore. They were so worth the money.

Today was the bump up from 2 minute run, 5 minute walk 3 times in a workout 3 times a week (though I've been trying to do it four times a work out, four times a week) to the 3 minute run, 4 minute walk 3 times a workout. I was really nervous about it. I know an extra minute doesn't seem like much. I know. But it was hard and a lot of work. Toward the end I needed to slow the run from a 5.2 mph to a 4.8 mph, but I don't care. I survived. 

It was an accomplishment and so I'm going to celebrate it as such :). 

Today has felt productive

It's only 12:57pm, but it's true. It has felt productive so far. I was up early to get ready for a meeting with a group mate for a class project. We headed over to Barnes and Noble, got our project squared away, and now I've got to do another hour or so of work to get it presentation ready.

Not too shabby since I I've been awake for three hours at this point. I've also eaten lunch. See! Productivity people, productivity.

Now, to re-buckle down. I want to knock out this last piece of the project before I try to talk myself into head over to the gym to get in a run.

That's right, I'm doing the Color Me Rad 5K in OKC this May.

I'm training with a Couch to 5K 8 week running guide. Considering that I'm REALLY out of shape (as in I used to weigh 302 pounds and have lost 58 pounds, but by no means does that mean I'm a skinny minnie), I've modified it to go a little slower with more increments for increasing my running so I don't kill myself on the dang treadmill so I can ease into running over 12 or so weeks instead. I'm finishing up my third week tomorrow. I've gotten in my three workouts a week (though I'm aiming for four) this week doing a two minute run followed by five minutes of walking. I'm always good for the first two goes, but the third round is really hard, and by the fourth, I'm gasping. 

I figure that adding in the fourth workout a week will help me bump up to fitness level, burn a few more calories since I ate half of a BBQ baked potato for lunch, and hopefully make the next level up easier. I'm supposed to jump to a 3 minute run, 4 minute walk on Monday (gasp!) three times a work out three times a week for one week. I'm nervous. Like I already said, I'm dying at the end of my two minutes at a run already. 

I suppose this is where I should remind myself that my blog url is whenindoubtDDD.blogspot.com. Remember: dedication, determination, desire. Yes. That. 

Ok, back to the books, and then to the gym (maybe). 

Update: 5:56 pm.

I have done both. I finished my homework AND went to the gym to run. I'm not sure how well I'm going to handle the bump up to three sets of three minutes next week, but I did my 2 minutes this week. Tomorrow is a day of rest and homework and memorization. Have I mentioned I'm in the Vagina Monologues this year? Because I am :).