Currently my life is crazy. Really crazy. It borders on spinning out of control almost all of the time, or at least it feels that way. I'm well versed in juggling commitments - school, work, my personal life. It's something I have spent a long time doing, and trying to find a way to do very well. I like to think I've gotten good at it. I also must admit that I enjoy juggling things. It keeps me busy and honest with myself about organizing my time.
I am driven to not only meet the minimum requirements, but to get the gold star. I'm a bit of a gold star kid. I find stickers extremely motivating. Remind me to tell the story of the sticker club one day :). Anyway, I want to do well at all of the things I possibly can.
This leads me to my point of being extremely busy these days. School has put a lot on my plate this semester. I've got busy classes with more work to do in them than what I've ever had before. Some of it is really great, other parts of it feel a little like busy work. Now, I will say that in the particular class that has a mass quantity of busy work, it is intentional. It's designed so that we have a ton of notes left over for use in studying for the comprehensive exam we have to take at the end of the degree. That doesn't make it any more enjoyable in trenches of said busy work....
Work is utterly exhausting. I am a grad assistant with the Center for Social Justice. I love it. It's a lot of event planning, organizing the different programs we run, working with students, and anything else I'm asked to take care of. All that said, we have several events coming up that are beginning to overwhelm me a tad. We're hosting a conference next week that I'm responsible for logistical execution for, a film screening the following week, The Vagina Monologues the week after (I'm also acting in the production which is great fun, but another level of things to juggle), I'll be co-moderating another event the week after that. Like I said, a lot.
And my personal life... Drew and I chat nightly. He wakes up at 4:30 in the morning in England (10:30pm in good ole Oklahoma) to talk me to sleep every night. This is one of the best parts of my day. He makes me really happy. He also understands me and some of my hangups better than I could have ever hoped for from a partner. We email on and off throughout the day, but getting to see his face and talk with him is the closest we get to crawling in bed together and cuddling. He's coming over for spring break :). I can't wait.
I don't feel like I have much time for a lot of socializing these days. It's kind of tough. I'm a very social person, but between school and work taking up SO much time and SO much energy, things feel rather out of balance in my personal life. Yes, I'm working out four times a week and I'm sure that counts as personal time, but I hate it. It's not actually something I enjoy or really want to do. I need to do it, so I do. I am motivated by the Color me Rad 5K, but as far as seeing it as pleasurable... Heck no.
So, I am going to keep breathing, keep working at this pace, and look forward to a break. It's coming. I can see it on the horizon. I just need to keep some faith and keep reminding myself that it will be ok. It always it.
WhenindoubtDDD, right? Right.
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